Intense Fuckaroonie was a 1992 film produced by the anonymous anti-philosophy group ZX82. The film sought to prove to the cinema-going public that they did not exist, and that the only things in the entire universe that actually held power and influence over day to day affairs were slippers with pictures of Snoopy on them, whiskey, orange juice, tomato juice, and statues of blind children of the sort that were often found outside chemists.

The film spends its first ten minutes explaining that there are only three groups of humans that actually exist: beautiful women, government officials, and teenagers.  It is claimed that the second group have perverted the forces of life to malevolent ends. The second ten minutes of the film are devoted to explaining exactly what the cinema going public are: ghosts of potential humanity, that are formed by the thoughts of animals and the secret electrical storms that take place inside Wookey Hole’s Cave Museum. The third ten minutes of the film are taken up with an account of how Wookey Hole’s Cave Museum was built entirely by cats, to divert psychic energy away from a ghost of potential humanity witch that attempted to curse nearby Cheddar Gorge when she discovered that herself and her thin wrinkly tits did not exist.

The remaining sixty minutes are taken up with stroboscopic edits, each edit lasting a mere three frames, of three different appropriated sources. They are: Margaret Thatcher’s speech at the 1982 Conservative Party Conference, a pornographic VHS of the early 90s big-bust porn star Busty Dusty, and an episode of Dark Season, the 1991 CBBC sci-fi telefantasy series for adolescents which starred a young Kate Winslet.

The film was apparently produced by only two of the five members of ZX82. Upon the film’s completion, it was disowned by the other three quarters of ZX82. In a leaflet released in March 1993, the group said that those same members had since changed their mind and were now championing it, though the other two members who had actually produced it had decided to disown it themselves.

It is said that all the members of ZX82 committed suicide in 1996, on the eve of the Oasis concerts at Knebworth, or as the group referred to it in their final communique before their sudden disappearance, “the Coronation Of The Cretins”.