HANNAH HAHA: We need a new approach towards salted chicken sticks.

[[[1973 CUT OUT ANIMATION ROUGHT DRAFT PILOT EPISODE —
scroll across screen then jump cut]]]

SUZY Q: My main concern is that the chicken is false chicken.

HANNAH HAHA: The stuff that tastes like metal and sadness?

SUZY Q: Yeah.

(U.S.A.O.K. SENATOR IS FLYING TO 1973 CUT OUT ANIMATION ROUGHT DRAFT PILOT EPISODE —)

HANNAH HAHA: Well, I don’t believe it is. But that’s beside the point.

(Genuine footage of Japanese homicidal maniac 16mm footage light beam sensor detect)

SUZY Q: I don’t think so, you need nutrition in your diet.

JAPANESE HOMICIDAL MANIAC 16MM FOOTAGE: Well you would know, with your flourescent urine.

SUZY Q: Absolutely. You’re learning already! (rips off T-shirt to reveal huge breasts)

HANNAH HAHA: Come on now, focus, dammit!

SUZY Q: You’re continuing to learn! (rips off skirt to reveal female genitals (shaven))

[[[PLANE WENT DOWN AFTER AIRSPACE INTRUSION - U.S.A.O.K. SENATOR BODY WAS LOST - BURIED? KEPT IN WAREHOUSE SIBERIA?]]]

HANNAH HAHA: Salted chicken sticks.

SUZY Q: Salted… chicken sticks.

[someone punches a hole in film emulsion turkish dubbers scrape off soundtrack -]

HANNAH HAHA: How far can we go with the salt?

SUZY Q: Not too far, I’d imagine. Could we replace the salt with a radioactive substance? Radiation’s pretty damn salty.

JAPANESE HOMICIDAL MANIAC 16MM FOOTAGE: I’d prefer a bacterial approach.

SUZY Q: Okay, you’re the boss.

DEAD BABY DRAGON IN PLAYGROUND TREETRUNK: The boy was climbing toward me, like a monkey. He hit me in the stomach. I hope the police get that boy. I hate that boy.

HANNAH HAHA: I’m learning a lot! (rips off T-shirt to reveal huge breasts)

SUZY Q: A bacterial approach towards the approach towards salted chicken sticks.

(THAMES TV IDENTIFICATION SYMBOL LOGO ANIMATION 1968 WALKS IN AND RIPS OFF A FEMALE’S SKIRT]

JAPANESE HOMICIDAL MANIAC 16MM FOOTAGE: When people hear us, they hear us talking, they’re going to say, they were on something. That’s awfully closed minded, isn’t it?

SUZY Q: I’ve never even taken a Flintstones Chewable Breast Enlargement Tablet.

HANNAH HAHA: You’re really learning! REALLY learning!

##meanwhile##

LOST BODY U.S.A.O.K. SENATOR IN WAREHOUSE SIBERIA: Operator, put me through to Stephanie Beacham.

—CONNECTING—

—You are logged in—

STEPHANIE BEACHAM: Hi, who’s this? Was busy ripping off shirt to reveal huge breasts.

LOST BODY U.S.A.O.K. SENATOR IN WAREHOUSE SIBERIA: Is your refrigrator running?

(THAMES TV IDENTIFICATION SYMBOL LOGO ANIMATION 1968 WALKS IN AND RIPS OFF A STEPHANIE BEACHAM’S SKIRT]

STEPHANIE BEACHAM: Eeeeeek!

LOST BODY U.S.A.O.K. SENATOR IN WAREHOUSE SIBERIA: It’s cold.

Caption: “GENUINE FOOTAGE”

##whinemeal##

SUZY Q: How long can they be? The sticks? Can they be about a yard?

HANNAH HAHA: Absolutely not, or to put it another way, definitely yes.

THAMES TV IDENTIFICATION SYMBOL LOGO ANIMATION 1968: Put the fan on, I’m starving.

HANNAH HAHA: Guns, not butter.

THAMES TV IDENTIFICATION SYMBOL LOGO ANIMATION 1968: Racist!

HANNAH HAHA: Guilty as charged.

SUZY Q: We’re learning, both of us, sharing our experiences. (Close up of taut stomach)

LIGHT BEAM SENSOR DETECT: Heeeey, it’s the 1990s! Everything’s crazy now!

HANNAH HAHA: He had long hair, and then it was bloody bunches, and now where do we go from here?

SUZY Q: Salted chicken sticks.

HANNAH HAHA: Salted… chicken sticks?

SUZY Q: Taste like sadness.

HANNAH HAHA: And metal.

{[{[1973 CUT OUT ANIMATION ROUGHT DRAFT PILOT EPISODE — bad splice — film snap}]}]