February 2012
24 posts
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Everyone’s manipulating their bowel movements It’s cold and sunny these days I’m eating texas paprika doritos and a sandwich The man hiding in the toilets has eyes up his arse I once read a book about atomic tests in the Pacific It’s getting warmer, maybe, I hope so In Belgium every single house is different I hate the man hiding in the toilets with eyes up his arse...
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MELM Statement
Purpose: To draw melm on the screen during use of the Graphics mode. Syntax: MELM (xcenter, ycenter), radius[,[color][,[start],[end][,aspect]]] Comments: xcenter and ycenter are the x- and y- coordinates of the center of the melm, and radius is the radius (measured along the major axis) of the melm. The quantities xcenter and ycenter can be dismissed with a grunt or a sharp jerk of the head. The...
http://www.thingy.info/ →
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The Plot of "The Omen"
The newborn son of Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) and his wife, Katherine (Lee Remick), dies shortly after birth in Rome. Robert is coerced by Father Spiletto (Martin Benson) into substituting for the dead child an orphan whose mother died at the same moment, without telling Katherine. Out of concern for his wife’s mental well-being, Robert agrees. They name the child Damien (Harvey Stephens)....
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The famous scene from "Dirty Harry"
“I know what you’re thinking: Did he fire six shots, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?” The robber did nothing. Instead he just gazed into...
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A Good Idea
A man decided it would be a good idea to kill himself in public by setting himself on fire. And so he did just that, and sat on a park bench, happily blazing away. But no matter how much he burned, he didn’t die, and his flesh remained untouched by the flames somehow, not even becoming slightly charred. Even the park bench he sat on was unaffected. He decided to go home. Coming in through...
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Almost everything I’ve ever uploaded to Youtube is on the YT channel “fizzymilk1989”. And you’ll be pleased to hear that I just handed over control of that channel to a friend of mine, to prevent me from being stupid and deleting it.
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The trouble with the youth of today is that their hands are far too small. I see them every day, standing next to those conveyor belts that the government have installed… and there’s dry ice everywhere and laser lighting, and they’ve got these sound systems that play nothing but test tones recorded off of old television… and they stand there, waving to each other, with...
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President-elect Ronald Reagan dived off the balcony. “Everything’s great!” he cried out, tears falling from his eyes. “Everything’s wonderful!” He reached out to the ground hurtling towards him. Reagan’s replacement was a cartoon bee.
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A wicked witch, who had the appearance of a beautiful ballerina, plotted a terrible scheme against the children of the land. She would create and sell dancing shoes that caused children to dance constantly, until they dropped down dead of exhaustion. Luckily, the police were reading this story and raided her house and arrested her, bringing this tale to an abrupt end.
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GIF in Which There Appear Edge Lettering, Sprocket...
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CLEGG
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“Don’t Mind Us”
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“Dance Into The Fire”
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“Cherry Pie Hop”
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By anonymous animator from “Animation Pie” (1974)
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Candle Cove
Youtube channel “fizzymilk1989” now has pretty much everything I’ve done since 2006-ish, with some exceptions that I didn’t want up anymore as I found them embarrassing (“The Best Show” mainly. Though if someone wants to upload them on their own channel, I don’t mind.)
January 2012
16 posts
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Hello everyone. I know I said I was planning on doing a torrent of all my videos, but unfortunately the total size of the things are so big I don’t think it’s possible for me to do so. So instead I’ve started the process of re-uploading everything to a new Youtube channel. It can be found here. Currently there are roughly 88 videos there at the moment, and I’ll be gradually...
Intense Fuckaroonie was a 1992 film produced by the anonymous anti-philosophy group ZX82. The film sought to prove to the cinema-going public that they did not exist, and that the only things in the entire universe that actually held power and influence over day to day affairs were slippers with pictures of Snoopy on them, whiskey, orange juice, tomato juice, and statues of blind children of the...
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Three people in a studio, made up to look like a kitchen. The people are DAVID, JILL and COLIN. They sit around a kitchen table. DAVID: …and because he was just a pair of legs, he was taken to Greggs and flattened. Cut to close up of DAVID. He addresses the camera. DAVID: We’re discussing communism, and how it affects the manufacture of printers and photocopiers. Jill, you were saying...
Though it may seem like I am writing normally, I am in fact pressing random keys that by pure chance are forming a complete and coherent sentence slgnoergrwegn apart from that bit.
__salted C=H=I=C=K=E=N sticks__
HANNAH HAHA: We need a new approach towards salted chicken sticks. [[[1973 CUT OUT ANIMATION ROUGHT DRAFT PILOT EPISODE — scroll across screen then jump cut]]] SUZY Q: My main concern is that the chicken is false chicken. HANNAH HAHA: The stuff that tastes like metal and sadness? SUZY Q: Yeah. (U.S.A.O.K. SENATOR IS FLYING TO 1973 CUT OUT ANIMATION ROUGHT DRAFT PILOT EPISODE —) HANNAH...
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My New Youtube Channel →
Okay, here is my new Youtube channel. There are three videos there at the moment, all new. They’re all along the lines of those “talking over random footage” videos I did a while back. I am also working out how to distribute the masters of all my old videos, so stay tuned for that.
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Again, I’d like to apologise for getting rid of my Youtube account again and explain why. I had a huge anxiety attack last night, which was prefigured by a couple days worth of some surprisingly intense depression. I’ve been fretting over that fucking cursed wretched SOPA thing for literally months and in the midst of my anxiety attack I deleted anything of mine that used copyrighted...
I’m going through a really tough time right now and i felt i had to delete a lot of things off my various accounts (Youtube, Tindeck). I’m sorry. I hope you’ll understand.
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When he returned to the building many years later, he found that it had expanded beyond anything anyone could have previously imagined. It had effectively devoured its surroundings - now onto the original structure there was a hotel, an art gallery, a block of offices and a government building. He decided to go exploring.
“Of course, if you’re not careful, it’ll alter the...
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I have been keeping all my piss in a great big bucket. Soon I will take it to Bruno Mars and make him drink.
“One of these days I’ll drive off to Norfolk and then commit seppuku in a...”
– Nick Clegg
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Watch
December 2011
25 posts
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Imagine if whenever a man ejaculated, his penis came flying off and flew around the room, making an alarming screeching sound. It would be terrible, wouldn’t it?
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Script for Superman film
Clark Kent and Lois Lane are in the offices of the Daily Planet LOIS: Oh, Clark, Metropolis is being made broken, by monster! Where is Superman? CLARK: I… think… [makes honking noise] LOIS: Clark, this is no time to be all crazy! CLARK: I… think… [makes honking noise] LOIS: Do not be so silly! Do not be so foolish! Clark Kent makes a really long honking noise and then drops...
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Idea For New Shop
Branch of Foot Locker where all product is burnt on arrival and the ashes are sold instead. Also, all assistants are bound and gagged.
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10 SCREEN 0 : COLOR 15,0 : CLS 20 RANDOMIZE TIMER : COLOR RND * 15, 0 25 RANDOMIZE TIMER : H1 = RND * 75 : V1 = 3 : H1 = H1 + 3 30 LOCATE V1, H1 : PRINT CHR$(219) 35 V1 = V1 + 1 36 IF V1 > 22 THEN GOTO 40 37 A$=INKEY$ : IF LEN(A$)=1 THEN GOTO 1000 38 GOTO 30 40 RANDOMIZE TIMER : COLOR RND * 15, 0 45 RANDOMIZE TIMER : H1 = 3 : V1...
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and whilst in contact with the body, a vacuum was produced and the vicar tore in body though not in brain. once i was guessing upper and lower, my scalp cyan magenta directly over the observed. the worms swell a little; wondered what that truncated so suddenly. seized opened up submerged slice of being brought into a wholly different. due to the surface of hell, magenta blocks with a bridge and...
NICHOLAS PARSONS: God, I hate Jigglypuff! He’s such a little cunt! His song sends practically anything to sleep, and he scribbles all over your bloody face when you do?! If there was only some way of getting back at him… ah! Wait! I’ve got it! [Nicholas Parsons creeps up behind Jigglypuff and plays a tape of the Sale Of The Century theme music. It is the weakness of all...
JOAN COLLINS: I just sat down on the cushion, and somebody said, “That’s Jimmy Durante’s cushion!” And since then, my bottom has been haunted by his ghost.
MUFFLED VOICE OF JIMMY DURANTE’S GHOST: I’m mortified!
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A group of children in swimming costumes steal turds from a dog dirt bin in a park. The children have plastic leaves they have snipped from artifical pot plants that they insert into the turds. They then enact a domestic dispute with the leafed turds, with one of the lumps of excrement being given the role of “father”. The children make angry wails and guttural noises, imitating a...
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A child is performing magic tricks in the middle of the road. He invites the drivers of the cars to pick a card, any card. All the cars slowly and carefully maneuver around him and the table which holds his props. Nearby, a tramp attempts to sing a song he can barely remember. A Conservative MP is walking by and he stuffs a used tissue into the tramp’s left hand as he passes.
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“Prime Minister, what are your views on the gays?” said the reporter.
“Well,” said Margaret Thatcher just before she bolted from the podium, dived head first through a closed window, and fell six storeys to her death.